3 Turfs: How To Avoid Getting Drunk At Your Office Christmas Party (and other disasters)
"When I get together with certain guys, I get pulled down into their behaviors and attitudes."
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"My buddies are good guys, but they smoke weed and I don't want that anymore."
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"The group at work likes to meet for happy hour, but drinking is not a part of my life anymore."
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"My friends go to church, but the way they talk about women who are not their wives is not cool, and I am uncomfortable with it."
A lot of men I talk to struggle with being true to their principles and convictions in various social settings. In a recent cohort, we talked about being "thermostats not thermometers" and while it is important to learn how to be an intentional leader in any situation, a wise man sets himself up for success.
So, I shared with them my philosophy of the "3 Turfs" and how they can use that to stack the deck in their favor spiritually. The 3 Turfs in sports vernacular are - 1) Home 2) Away and 3) Neutral
Let's break that down as it relates to spiritual and social settings-
Turf 1: Home Field Advantage
In sports, it is generally accepted that the "home field advantage" has a distinct impact on the game. In football betting, the home field advantage is typically worth about 3 points. In social settings for a Christian man, a home field is often (but not always) at home, at church, or at something like an IMPACT Players cohort. You get to set the temperature (standards, expectations, values, etc). The goal, is to get unbelievers or less spiritually mature friends on your home turf so you can most effectively share Christ with them and model Christ-like behavior for them.
Turf 2: Away
Most men compromise their values and fall into sinful behaviors and thinking when they are away from their home field. It is true that Jesus ate and drank with sinners, sometimes even in the home of a tax collector, but he always approached those dangerous situations with a clear mission and a purpose. When you are on a turf (work, a sports bar, a non-believer's party, etc) you must remember to be fully prepared with the armor of God (see Ephesians 6). If you are not familiar with the 4 Battlegrounds every man must learn to fight on, order the study Battlegrounds on Amazon.
You may not have the opportunity to set the temperature for the whole gathering, but look for an opportunity to make a connection with a nonbeliever personally and invite him to connect with you on a neutral or home turf at a later time. Remember, you are the light of the world (see Matthew 5), so do not try to blend in by holding an alcoholic drink and laughing at the dirty jokes. Instead, set yourself apart by rising above the behaviors of your lost peers.
Turf 3: Neutral
A neutral field is a place where neither you, nor your unbeliever friends have a distinct spiritual advantage. It may be at a sporting event, the pickleball courts, a school meeting for your kids, or a local restaurant or coffee shop. Neutral fields are a great stepping stone for spiritual conversations to take place as it may be difficult to get a lost friend to show up to your church service on day one. Inviting a friend to meet for coffee or chicken wings is a perfect opportunity to say, "tell me your story." You will be amazed at how many men are willing to share their stories with you, which will better allow you to know and understand their need for Christ. Additionally, when a man share his story with you, the law of reciprocity usually leads to him asking you to share your story as well. This is your opportunity to tell him what Christ has done for you in a way that shows empathy and understanding for what he has just shared with you about himself.
A neutral turf is a great place to build relationships with unbelievers, but be careful not to let down your guard. King David's worst defeat was not on the Enemy's field of battle, but relaxing on the patio (see 2 Samuel 11). If you don't set the temperature on the neutral turf, it will quickly become another Away turf situation.
When it comes to these 3 Turfs, a Christian man should strive to spend the majority of his time on his home field. When he does venture onto a Neutral or Away turf environment, he is best positioned when he is spiritually prepared, surrounded by other men of God, and laser focused with missional purpose.
There are some turfs that you may simply be unable to step on victoriously right now, and a wise man recognizes that and eliminates the temptation by refusing to go into a hornet's nest. If you know that a certain place or group of people will cause you to fall or compromise spiritually, just take that option off the table until you have developed a winning game plan.
Finally, remember that God is with you and there is no temptation or situation you cannot endure or escape through Christ.
"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." 1 Corinthians 10:13
If you have been inspired to grow in your faith, live your values, prioritize your relationships or explore what it means to become a man of Godly character, we welcome you to IMPACT Players. Please consider joining one of our in person or online cohorts (men's groups), attending a breakfast gathering, becoming an IMPACT Member, or sign up for our newsletter. If you believe that investing in reaching and equipping men is critical to the success of our nation, please make a one time or monthly gift to IMPACT Players.
Every man needs a band of brothers... find yours at IMPACT Players.
Every man needs a band of brothers... find yours at IMPACT Players.