To Equip & Encourage

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“My Wife Treats Me Like a Child”

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“My Wife Treats Me Like a Child”

She didn’t raise her voice or say anything unkind. There was no argument, no sharp words, no obvious conflict.

She simply sighed and took over.

“Did you remember to call about the kids’ after-school program?” she asked.

He paused. “I was going to.”

She reached for her phone. “It’s fine. I’ll handle it.”

In that moment, he didn’t feel angry. He felt small—quietly embarrassed, like a teenage boy who forgot his homework and watched the teacher shake her head in disappointment.

When a wife treats her husband like a child, it is rarely rooted in disrespect. More often, it is rooted in lost confidence in leadership.

Over time, patterns of passivity, avoidance, or inconsistency can quietly reshape a marriage. What once felt like an intimate partnership between two adults slowly begins to resemble a parent–child dynamic. One spouse manages, reminds, and compensates. The other withdraws, defers, or feels diminished. And when that shift happens, something essential is lost.

A woman's respect for her husband begins to fade.

Intimacy diminishes as exhaustion grows.

Attraction is replaced with exasperation.

Marriage researcher John Gottman, who has spent decades studying what strengthens and destroys marriages, consistently warns against this dynamic. His research shows that when one spouse takes on a parental role, desire and mutual respect inevitably decline.

A 2019 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology reinforces this conclusion, finding that unequal responsibility and emotional labor are strong predictors of marital dissatisfaction. When one partner feels they must carry the weight for both, resentment quietly grows on both sides.

Scripture calls men to something higher than passivity or avoidance.

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” (1 Corinthians 16:13)

“For the husband is the head of the wife…” (Ephesians 5:23)

Biblical headship is a controversial idea, that has gotten a lot of negative criticism, but at it's heart, it has nothing to do with "domination" or "control." A true understanding of Biblical headship points men to greater levels of responsibility, initiative and earned trust. Being the leader of your home is about showing up consistently over time in the areas that matter most—spiritually, relationally, emotionally, and practically.

God commands wives to respect their husbands, but men are not God, and "demand respect" is not the way of Jesus. Instead, respect is built when a man becomes someone who can be trusted with responsibility.

It is a two way street, but men can only be responsible to drive in their lane properly. Instead of pointing the finger, or passing the buck, men should begin with honest self-examination.

Where have you avoided ownership instead of embracing it?
What area of your life right now requires decisive, consistent leadership rather than excuses or delay?
Where have you abdicated responsibility or taken the path of least resistance in your marriage and family?

IMPACT Players exists to help men grow into strong, dependable husbands and fathers—men who lead with humility, courage, and conviction. If you are ready to stop being managed and start leading, we would be honored to walk with you at IMPACT Players.

Note- This is the first of a series of posts. Follow along for these future posts in the days ahead:

My Wife Treats Me Like A Roommate
My Wife Treat Me Like I Am A Co-Manager
My Wife Treats Me Like I Am The Cause Of All Her Problems
My Wife Treat Me Like I Am Her Savior
My Wife Treats Me Like I Am The Scum Of The Earth

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Find or start an IMPACT Cohort in your community
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To Equip & Encourage

“My Wife Treats Me Like a Child”

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