“What if I stumble? What if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?”

— DC Talk, “What If I Stumble”

As a young man, no Christian band had a greater influence and impact on my life than DC Talk, the "rap, rock, and soul" super group headed by Toby Mac, Kevin Smith and Michael Tait. Many of my core beliefs about Christianity, dating and sexual purity, boldness for Christ, racial reconciliation, and even financial stewardship were shaped by their songs and what they represented as young Christian men. To say that I was a DC Talk super fan would be an understatement. I wanted to "be" DC Talk... so much so that my wife and were a part of a band in college that did a number of DC Talk covers, including their greatest hit, Jesus Freak.

Speaking of Jesus Freak, in 1995, DC Talk released their greatest album by that name, which became one of the most iconic Christian albums of all time. Among its powerful tracks was a haunting confession that echoed in the hearts of believers everywhere: “What If I Stumble?” The song was an honest cry about the fear of failure, the weight of public faith, and the shame that often comes when our private lives don’t match our public persona. In my mind at a 19 year old super fan, the song was mostly hypothetical, but in retrospect, it may have been one of the most prophetic songs of our generation as across the Evangelical Christian landscape we have seen countless "Christian celebrities" stumble, fall, and be caught in a trap of sin, lies, and heartbreaking hypocrisy. 

In 2000, at the height of their success, DC Talk shocked fans by announcing a hiatus. While it was framed as temporary, the group never formally reunited for a full-length album again.

Each member pursued solo careers:

• TobyMac became one of the most successful solo artists in Christian music history, releasing multi-platinum albums like Portable Sounds and Eye On It. His sound evolved but retained the high energy and lyrical focus that made DC Talk famous.
• Michael Tait joined the legendary Christian rock band Newsboys in 2009, revitalizing their career and taking on lead vocals during a new era for the band.
• Kevin Max pursued an eclectic solo career, often blending Christian themes with alternative and literary influences. He became known for challenging the boundaries of Christian music both musically and theologically.

In October 2019, TobyMac’s oldest son, Truett Foster McKeehan, died unexpectedly at age 21 from an accidental drug overdose. The tragedy rocked the Christian community and profoundly impacted TobyMac, who later wrote and released 21 Years—a heartbreaking song processing grief and love for his son. The thought that a Christian music superstar like TobyMac could have a son struggling with such dark addictions certainly was unsettling for many longtime DC Talk fans. 

In 2021, Kevin Max made headlines when he tweeted that he now identifies as an “exvangelical.” He later clarified he still follows the “Universal Christ,” but a man who once proclaimed to be a "Jesus Freak" was now disassociating himself from Biblical Christianity altogether. Kevin's personal struggles with his faith, as well as a divorce in 2003 seem incongruent with the public persona he forged in his years with DC Talk.

Recently, three decades after the song What If I Stumble was released, those lyrics take on a sobering new meaning in light of recent allegations against Michael Tait, former DC Talk frontman and lead singer of the Newsboys. After Tait suddenly and unexpectedly quit the Newsboys in January of 2025, rumors and accusations of Tait's homosexuality, sexual abuse and drug abuse were confirmed by an in depth story by The Roys Report and a subsequent confession by Michael Tait. The ramifications of this scandal has caused massive shockwaves across the Christian music industry. For countless fans of DC Talk, the Newsboys, and Christian music in general, the fall of Michael Tait is both a punch in the gut and a knife in the back. In many ways, the fall of Tait (and DC Talk to a lesser extent) has "made fools of us all." 

The Double Life: Not Just a Celebrity Struggle

When Michael Tait told the other members of the Newsboys that he was stepping down, he acknowledged that he was living a “double life”—a private life that sharply contradicted the image he presented to the world. Though his bandmates claimed they did not know about Tait's struggles with drugs, alcohol, sexual abuse and homosexuality, they clearly should have known that their brother and friend was not in a position to be standing in the spotlight for Jesus.

Sadly, Tait is not alone when it comes to men living a "double life." The truth is, many men are going through their days in constant danger of being "found out." Some men are spiritual leaders, speaking to crowds with convincing eloquence while secretly wrestling with hidden sin. Others appear to be great husbands and fathers, while battling addiction, anger, or despair under the cover of darkness. Still others wear a mask of confidence but quietly are unraveling inside to the point of suicidal ideations.

Most men don’t live a double life because they want to be hypocrites. They live it because they’ve never been taught how to practice audacious authenticity. They don't know how to bring their secrets and shame into the light, and so the divide between their public personal and secret struggle grows wider and wider.

The Audacity of Authenticity

At IMPACT Players, we believe that the call to Christ is not a call to perfection, but a call to walk in the light. That means being real with God—and with a few trusted brothers—about our struggles, temptations, failures, and doubts.

We believe in a simple, powerful philosophy:WYSIWYG – What You See Is What You Get.

That means I want my public image to match my private integrity. I want to be the same man in a meeting as I am in my living room. The same man on stage as I am in the dark. Sin and shame can only hold power over us when we keep it in the dark. The longer we wait to share our struggles, the more powerful, painful, and profound the impact of our sin becomes. 

Christian men are not exempt from the seduction of fame. Instead of being adored by the crowds, men should adopt this simple mantra: “I want to live in such a way that the people who know me the best respect me the most.”

Why Men Need a Band of Brothers

The only way to prevent a double life is to live a shared life.

You don’t need a stadium of fans—you need a circle of brothers. Men who know you. Men who see past the surface. Men who ask the hard questions and love you enough to tell you the truth. Not just cheerleaders, but challengers. Not just listeners, but leaders.

James 5:16 gives us the roadmap:

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”

The equation is simple - Confession + Community = Healing. We believe "the magic" happens when a groups of men can come together in a place where they can experience "audacious authenticity" and "unflinching Biblical truth." Typically, "recovery groups" do a great job with authenticity, but often lack a Biblical foundation. Conversely, churches often excel with teaching Scripture, but fail to produce an environment where men can be honest and vulnerable. That is what IMPACT Players is trying to provide for men who are willing to risk coming out of the darkness, and humble enough to receive the light of truth.

What If I Stumble?

We will all stumble. But stumbling doesn’t have to turn into falling—and falling doesn’t have to end in ruin.

When we walk in the light with one another, we find strength, accountability, and grace. In this life, and in our marriage and family, we don’t have to fake it until we break it.. We don’t have to hide. We just need to be real with God and one another.

Call to Action

Men, you don’t have live a double life any longer. We want to invite you to discover the IMPACT of a truthful life. A transparent life. A transformed life.

• Find a Band of Brothers—a small group of men who know the real you. Join a cohort online or in person.
• Practice regular confession and repentance, not just to God, but with one another. Call a brother, or get with your cohort and lay it all out before them.
• Commit to audacious authenticity, and let WYSIWYG be your standard.

The Path Home

No matter how far you have run, or how deep the pit of sin you may be stuck in, the good news of the Gospel is that there is always a path home. The path is called repentance. The Way is faith in Jesus. The promise is that God the Father is waiting with open arms to welcome you in with His amazing grace. There is no happy endings for the man living a double life, but there is hope for the man who will bring his secrets, shame, and sin out of the darkness and into the light.