In the movie Field of Dreams, a mysterious story about an Iowa farmer named Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner) who is inspired to turn his corn field into a baseball field, Ray goes on a quest to find the meaning behind this strange pursuit. Along the way, Ray recounts the fractured relationship with his father to a former ball player turned author named Terrance Mann (James Earl Jones). Ray says, “By the time I was 10, playing baseball got to be like eating vegetables or taking out the garbage. So when I was 14, I started to refuse… I never played catch with him again… when I was 17 I packed my things, said something awful and left. After a while, I wanted to come home, but I didn’t know how.”

Many grown men experience regret in adulthood over the things they said and did to their fathers in adolescence. For Ray, it was a refusal to play baseball, because baseball represented his father’s lost hopes and dreams. Baseball could be a metaphor for a number of things that a son might choose to reject from his father. A son might reject his father’s faith, his values, hometown, educational level, political positions or career path.

In adolescence, a father’s perspective is not always appreciated, and his own personal struggles or insecurities are rarely considered. When a young man begins to grow into adulthood, he may come to experience a greater level of empathy and understanding towards his dad, and long to make right some of the things he said in his youth. Research from the American Psychological Association suggests that 85% of fathers who have been wounded by their children say they are willing to forgive, but only 40% of estranged children make the first move toward reconciliation.

The conclusion of the Field of Dreams movie is when Ray encounters a young afterlife version of his father on his mysterious Iowa baseball field. Seeing his father as a young man, before life had broken down his dreams and passion gives Ray a new appreciation for his dad. In a moment of restoration and reconciliation, Ray timidly asks, “Dad, you wanna have a catch?” With great satisfaction in his eyes, Ray’s Dad simply replies… “I’d like that.”

What would it look like for you to reach out to your father and say, “Dad, you wanna have a catch?” You might be surprised to hear him say, “I’d like that.”

Father /// Wound is a new IMPACT Cohort study for men who want to become healthy men thriving in their relationships. When a man is willing to acknowledge the hurt, experience the healing, and share the hope that comes from the Father /// Wound study, he will become a better husband, father, and leader. Step forward with courage here.